Awkward Beginings
by Dreamweaving
Summary: What was Raikou thinking, taking in this child? He really should think things through a little better... For Skunky. Not quite RaikouGau, but you can take it that way if you want to.


Written for the ever-amazing Skunky for her birthday. Hope you enjoy it.

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There are times when you do things spur of the moment. You don't think. You just act. Raikou Shimizu's life was filled with moments like that. He did things with little or no thought and they worked out. He made it look like he had it planned all along. It was just luck and confidence. In the end, things went the way he needed or wanted them to go. In the end it all looked so normal and natural.

A single glance at him as he draws his sword and rushes in, his eyes narrow and determined, his movements easy and fluid, will leave you with the thought that he is strong and brave and cool... But those who know him better, really know him, see that outside of battle, he's a different person entirely. Someone relaxed and easy-going and even a bit silly.

No. That's an understatement. Raikou Shimizu is a very silly man.

Gau Meguro's first encounter with the samurai was at the most difficult time in his young life. His mother struck down by a stranger, he saught revenge on her killer, only to land himself in danger.

He sat there on the pavement, eyes squeazed shut, preparing himself for death. Thirteen. He was just past the threshold of childhood. And here he would die, at the hands of the same man who took his mother from him.

And then his assailant's scream cut through the air, startling Gau into opening his eyes.

The scene before him was hard to comprehend at first. His mother's killer lay dead on the ground, blood seeping out around him and already puddling. Standing over the man's fallen form was a young man with pink hair, tied back and out of his face. His eyes landed on Gau's face.

That first instant was like looking upon a superhero come to life. This man had saved him and had brought to justice the one who had taken his mother from him. He could only stare in shock.

And when this stranger held out a hand to him, sad eyes filled with concern, Gau took it. And never looked back.

Raikou sat on the old, battered sofa and stared at the child seated in the chair accross from him. Once again, he'd done something thoughtlessly.

This one took the cake though. He really should think before he acts. He wasn't sure what he thought he was going to do with a boy four years his junior. Raise him? On his own? The idea was silly. But now that he'd brought the child home with him, he couldn't very well abandon him, could he?

It seemed like they were off to an awkward start as well. Past introductions and an offering to find the child something to eat, Raikou was having trouble thinking of what to say to his new companion.

And so they sat there, staring at one another, as though trying to work out what sort of situation they'd landed themselves in.

It was only the begining, of course.

At first, it was easy keeping the world of Nabari out of the house. Gau knew Raikou came from a family of samurai, but past that nothing was known. In the first few weeks, Raikou could leave the house without much explanation.

It was always "I'm going to work, Gau. There are some instant noodles in the kitchen if you get hungry." and he was out the door.

But as Gau began to grow more comfortable with his new life, grow more accustomed to his rescuer-turned-guardian, and more used to the idea that this is how things would be for some time to come, the boy began to ask questions.

It started two and a half weeks after they began sharing a home. When Raikou came home with blood on his clothes. It wasn't his. But that fact seemed of little concern to the rather alarmed teenager.

"S-Shimizu-San! B-Blood!" Gau shrieked, eyes widening in alarm.

"Hmm? It's not mine... So don't worry."

"Your's or not, it's still blood! How did you get so much on you?"

"I said you shouldn't worry. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? **Not a big deal? **It's _**BLOOD**_! And that much of it **is** a big deal!"

Raikou couldn't think of a single way to explain it away and instead just pushed his way past the youth, making his way to the kitchen as he changed the subject. "I think I'll fix myself some instant ramen. Would you like some?"

"Don't change the subject! You can't just come back all bloody and not say why!" Gau shouted, trailing behind him. And then his voice lowered as a thought hit him. "Your not Yakuza, are you?"

"No." Raikou replied, turning on the stove. "Not Yakuza. But it's really not any of your concern."

And he refused to say another word on the subject.

Gau seemed to give up after a while, feeling like he was up against a brick wall. But he went to sleep, fuming mad over not getting a proper answer. He had a right to know what sort of person he was living with, didn't he?

It was two days later when Gau tried to bring the topic up again. As Raikou reclined on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully, Gau approached him with determination. He planted his feet firmly and puffed out his chest, holding his back as straight as he could.

"Where do you go when you leave, Shimizu-San?"

"To work, mostly. Sometimes to the grocery store. Sometimes just to take a walk."

"You know what I mean. What do you do for a living? Does it have something to do with-"

"I thought I told you it wasn't your concern?" Raikou asked, cutting him off.

"It is so my concern!" Gau huffed. "I think that if I'm going to be living here I have a right to know what you do!"

Raikou sat up, swinging his legs off the couch so he could face the boy. "It's not important. What I do when I leave here will never be something you have to worry about because it will never affect you."

Gau just got more aggitated by the other's calm nature. He lunged, swinging his arms. "I'm not a child! Don't treat me like I wouldn't understand or something! Like you have to protect me or something!"

Raikou raised a hand, catching the smaller boy's forhead with his palm and effectively keeping him from landing even a single blow.

He kept his arm straight out, holding Gau at bay until he tired himself out with his pointless arm swinging. As the child dropped back, landing on his butt on the floor, Raikou laughed. Gau flushed with aggitation and embarrassment. "Don't mock me! Just because you have longer arms! If you didn't have ape arms I would have beaten you!"

"Just let it drop, Gau. It's not only for your own good. I have my reasons for not telling you."

Gau was far from giving up. He persisted in trying to get some information-any information-out of the young samurai. But Raikou was incredibly stubborn about it. He even attempted to placate Gau with gifts.

One day he came in with a package, dropping it on the floor at Gau's feet.

"What is this for?" Gau asked, frowning.

"I thought you might like something to bide your time with." Raikou replied, dropping down in his favorite spot on the sofa. "Go ahead and take a look."

Gau sighed and grabbed the box, pulling off the lid. A pair of eyes peered back at him. He could feel his eye begin to twitch as he lifted the toy from within the box. As he picked it up if made a noise. "Mama!"

"A doll? Why would I want a doll? I'm not a **girl**!" Gau hissed, dropping it back in the box.

"Oh? I guess your right. That was silly of me." Raikou said, mildly.

"Don't speak as if it slipped your mind!" Gau yelled, getting angrier. "What were you thinking when you chose something like this?"

"Honestly... I think I was thinking of someone other than you..." Raikou admitted, frowning suddenly.

"Eh? Who?" Gau asked, curiousity overcoming anger.

Raikou didn't answer, standing up. Oh, this is what he does when he lets himself get distracted. He let his mind wander in the toy store and...

Well, he had to admit it was strange, but when he'd rescued Gau he hadn't really seen Gau. Even now, sometimes when he looked at the child he didn't see Gau. There was something in the back of his mind. A girl he couldn't save. A girl he... loved very dearly. And he couldn't protect her. And something in the back of his mind placed her where Gau was sometimes. He couldn't save her, but he could save Gau. He could protect Gau. Somehow it made the ache in his heart lessen. Made up slightly for his failings.

He could never bring her back. He could never take his mistake back. But he could prevent future mistakes.

And it was making them overlap in his mind. He'd have to watch that.

"I'll return it and get something more fitting." Raikou muttered, taking the doll from Gau's hands. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Gau didn't say anything. There was something terribly _sad_ in Raikou's eyes. Something so distant and hurt. And it was strange. He didn't know what he should do. What he could do. This man was unusual and avoided answering questions and brought him toys that weren't even gender-appropriate, let alone something someone his age would want. But he... had saved him. Had taken out the man who stole his mother away. Had taken him in.

Certainly... he was a kind man. A man who protected the innocent. Strange as he was, he was... a good person wasn't he? And under that bright and cheery and easy-going nature, he was so sad. There was something that he kept inside. Hidden.

"Just return it. You don't have to get me anything. I haven't played with toys in a long time, Shimizu-San."

"You know, Gau, you don't have to call me that. My name is 'Raikou' and I would prefer you call me that."

Gau started to protest, and caught himself. This man was asking him to call him by his first name. To refuse would be impolite. Inconsiderate even. And so, with much hesitancy, he tested it out. "Raikou-San...?"

A smile lit the young man's face. "Now that's a bit better."

Yes. Raikou Shimizu really was... not all that bad.

Gau formed the plan in his mind in the time he spent alone. He went over it a thousand times. It was simple. It was almost _too_ simple. He didn't really have to put so much thought into it. But it made him a little nervous.

All he had to do was wait for Raikou to leave and then follow him. It was easy. But he still hesitated. Did he _want_ to witness what Raikou did firsthand? A job that sometimes brought him home covered in blood? A job that he didn't want to tell Gau about. That he kept secret for some reason, protecting the secret with deflections and lies.

He was curious. He had a right to know. And yet... he was scared. It took a while to build up the courage. But he didn't admit that, telling himself he had to be absolutely certain he got all the details ironed out.

And when he finaly was as ready as he could get, he put the plan into action.

He watched him leave from the window, and once he was far enough away not to notice Gau following, but not so far that Gau would lose him, he slipped out and began trailing him.

At first he felt like he'd chosen the wrong night to follow him. Because Raikou's first stop was a pastry shop. He picked up a box of doughnuts and ate them as he walked. It looked like he was just out for a stroll on this particular night. Then he stopped, standing with his back against a fence on the side of the darkened street. He seemed to be waiting for something. Or someone.

Just as Gau was getting tired of watching Raikou stuff his face, a figure appeared at the other end of the street. He was wobbling slightly as he made his way down the street, obviously drunk. Raikou set the box atop a trashcan, wiping his hands on his shirt. His eyes were locked on the stranger. As the man came upon Raikou, fully intending to go right past him, Raikou stepped out in front of him, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

Gau couldn't hear the conversation that took place, if any did. But he saw clearly what occured. As the drunkard hit the ground, Gau nearly screamed. He barely managed to bite it back, turning and running back towards the house.

A murderer? An assassin? Or maybe he really _was_ Yakuza?

Either way, Raikou had just slain another man. Killed him in cold blood. It didn't occur to him that there could be a reason. He shouldn't be suprised. He knew Raikou carried a sword. He had even witnessed Raikou killing before.

But back then, he'd believed it was because the man had been about to kill him. He had fully believed Raikou had killed that man only preserved Gau's life. But what had that drunk done? He had just been walking down the road!

Maybe there was a reason afterall though? How did he know the man hadn't committed some terrible crime? But how would Raikou know? How? How could he possibly know?

He burst through the door, shutting it tightly behind himself. And then he threw himself on the couch, heart hammering in his chest.

What should he do now? Confront Raikou? Tell him that he knew what he did? Demand answers? Or should he stay quiet? Oh, but how that would eat away at him, knowing and saying nothing. Keeping such a secret. He could always run away, but to where? His mother had been all he had in the world. If Raikou hadn't taken him in, he would be on the street right now...

Yes. That's right. Raikou took him in. Saved him. Surely he wouldn't kill Gau now, right? Why kill someone whom you'd saved?

_'Because they know too much...'_ A voice in the back of his head told him. He tried to ignore it.

He tried to look at it logicaly. If he kept it a secret, he would live in fear of it coming to light, trying to hide it. If he ran away, where would he go? What would he do? If he confronted Raikou, he would risk being killed.

No matter how you looked at it, his options weren't so great. But he knew what he was going to do. He couldn't take living with the stress of keeping his secret. And if he kept it secret and it came out later, it would only be worse. He knew it was illogical to run. Life on the street would only lead to eventual death, wouldn't it? It's not as if he was very good at fighting. He wouldn't be able to protect himself if the need to do so should arise.

If he confronted Raikou with the information, the man would have to explain himself, wouldn't he? And if worst came to worst, at least it would be quick. At least he wouldn't have to worry about it any longer, no matter the outcome. Right? He was prepared to die to catch his mother's killer, and he was prepared to die here if that's where it lead.

He came to this conclusion just moments before Raikou returned home, a plastic shopping bag in one hand.

"I brought home some snacks. Do you like sweets, Gau?"

Looking at that kind face, looking at that bag of food in Raikou's hand, Gau felt silly for thinking Raikou would kill him. Surely this man wasn't capable of...

_Blood. All that blood. His mother's killer lying in it, dead. _

_More blood, this time from a drunkard on his way home. Also dead, lying on the sidewalk._

_Raikou not looking even slightly uneasy with what he'd done._

Gau swallowed hard. Raikou held out a cupcake.

"Raikou-San..."

"Hmmm?"

He didn't allow room for doubt. He couldn't back down from this, no matter what the stakes.

"I-I followed you. T-Tonight, I mean."

"Oh?" Raikou's face was blank for a moment, then he set the cupcake on Gau's lap. "I wasn't expecting that by this point. I thought for sure if you were going to do that you would have done it long before now." He retrieved another cupcake from the bag and took a bite, looking thoughtful. "I guess now I'll have to answer your questions won't I? I really did want to avoid this... But I guess it can't be helped."

"...What?" Gau asked, suprised. "That's it? No denial? No lies? Your not going to kill me to keep me quiet?"

Raikou's eyes widened a little. "Of course not. Don't be silly." He took another bite. "You haven't done anything wrong. Definately nothing that warrants me killing you. Your just an innocent child."

"I told you, I'm not a child!" Gau replied, aggitated.

"Either way, your not a bad person. You've never hurt anyone, Gau." Raikou settled down on the arm of the sofa with a little sigh. "Yes, I kill people. But I do it to protect others. I do it to save the lives of innocent people. I do it to prevent these people from committing more crimes than they already have."

"Like... a policeman?" Gau asked, picking up the cupcake on his lap and turning it around in his hands as he tried to figure it out.

"Sort of." Raikou replied, moving the bag of treats over so he could slide down onto the couch beside the boy. "I'll do my best to explain it. If you have questions, I'll answer them."

"That's really it though?" Gau asked, suspiciously. "Your really just going to tell me everything? No strings attached?"

"It would be pointless to try and hide it now, wouldn't it?" Raikou returned.

"Well... yes. But..."

"I guess I should start at the begining then." Raikou interrupted, taking another bite of his cupcake. "But first, let's eat these up, alright?"

It was... amazing really. That this person lived such a life. It was unimaginable. And yet, it made sense.

This man was a good man afterall. Protector of the innocent. An upholder of justice. He really was like one of the heroes in manga. Like Son Goku from Dragon Ball Z. But with pink hair. And a sword. Maybe Kenshin Himura was a better comparison. He was at least a samurai like Raikou was.

Of course, Kenshin made a vow not to kill and Raikou killed for a living.

Oh well. Imperfect comparisons aside, Raikou was... very admirable. Strong and brave and righteous!

Gau felt that maybe... Raikou Shimizu really was an okay guy.

If he had to choose someone to aspire to be like, he could hardly do better than a real-life hero, right?


End file.
